Summed up, the government of Spain is pursuing war crimes trials for some top Bush officials. I'm glad Obama is staying as far away from this as possible. I said a while ago that I side with Obama on this because war crimes investigations would divide the country. But Republicans have shown over the last couple months that they want to divide it either way. So I'll modify my position. I want this to happen as long as Obama continues to have no say in it. As soon as he enters the picture, the right will view it as a partisan witch hunt. They'll probably see it as one anyway, but at least his absence will just cushion the clusterfuck.
Oh, and O'Reilly's thoughts
Boy, that'll show 'em.
Monday, March 30, 2009
This is some pretty funny shit just by itself, but then they reveal something at the very end that makes it even funnier.
In much more tragic news, yet another child was murdered because of insane delusion masked as religion. He was starved to death because he never said "amen" at dinner. He was 16 months old. The mother shoved his dead body in a suitcase and left it in a shed for a year. She said he was going to resurrect. Favorite quotes:
“She wasn’t delusional, because she was following a religion,” [the mother's attorney Steven] Silverman said.
But at the same time,
Silverman said he and prosecutors think Ramkissoon was brainwashed and should have been found not criminally responsible; prosecutors declined to comment.
So she's brainwashed, but she isn't delusional. I see. But my favorite part,
Ramkissoon, 22, has agreed to plead guilty to a lesser charge on one condition: The charges against her must be dropped if her son, Javon Thompson, is resurrected.
Nope. Not delusional at all. U GUYZ JUST WAIT TIL MY MANA REGENERATES SO I CAN REZ HIM.
Simply being a member of the U.S. military automatically thrusts you forward to "badass" level, but when there's a badass that even the badasses consider badass, you know that badass is truly the king badass of all badasses. Audie Murphy was one of the greatest soldiers in the history of the world. Every one of us should fall on our knees and weep at the sheer mention of his name.
Audie wasn't old enough to join the military when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. But he didn't care, he just lied about his age. He tried joining the Marines, but he was too scrawny lookin'. He tried joining the Air Force, but he was too short. The Army finally accepted him, because they could always use more meat shields. He was 16 years old. What were you doing when you were 16? Loser.
They shipped him off to Northern Africa, and he kinda just stood around in the desert for a while kicking cans. He first saw combat during the Allied invasion of Sicily. He proved himself in several key battles, and was quickly promoted to Sergeant.
Shortly after landing at a beachhead in Southern France, Audie and his best friend saw some Germans approaching them, waving a white flag with their guns in the air. Audie was suspicious. When his buddy rose up, the Nazi shitheads suddenly dropped the flag and shot the shit out of him. Audie became fucking enraged, and killed every god damn one of them. He sprinted forward blindly looking for more Nazis to kill. A machine gun nest opened fire on him from a nearby hill. Murphy charged up the slope straight at them, and smoked the entire crew.
He wasn't done.
Yet another machine gun emplacement opened fire on him. So he simply picked up the MG42 the dead Nazis weren't using anymore, and turned it on them. He wiped those guys out too. He carried it off with him Rambo style and demolished two more gun emplacements. Plus two sniper positions. By himself.
But what he did later in Holtzwihr Forest tops even this.
Murphy had been assigned to hold the critical Colmar Pocket from German counterattack. He had two M-10 Tank Destroyers and 19 men. His company had been decimated; they were once 128 strong. On one cold rainy morning, Audie noticed a fucking shit ton of Nazis bearing down right on top of them. He radioed HQ, but the only two companies that could have reinforced them were too busy holding the flanks.
He sent his men back to take up defensive positions in the rear, but kept the two M-10s forward to take out the German tanks. They were both torn to shreds. Now, right here, a sane person would probably fall back to the defensive position not too far behind him. Not Audie Murphy. The word "sanity" isn't in Audie Murphy's book of word-lernin'. Instead, he jumped up on top of the god damn burning tank right next to him, and manned the fucking .50 cal. Because he's Audie god damn Murphy. He got on the radio with HQ and started calling in artillery strikes. From his completely exposed position on this tank, with artillery shells raining down fucking everywhere around him, Audie held down the trigger and shot the shit out of every fucking Nazi in sight. I would like to imagine him screaming "I'M AUDIE MOTHERSHITTING MURPHY!" at the top of his lungs the entire time. Because that's what I would have done.
He wiped out an entire platoon that had taken cover in a ditch a hundred feet away. The Tiger tanks? Yeah, those pulled back because their infantry support were all suffering from a severe case of getting shot in the god damn face. Audie finally dismounted the tank an hour later, only after he ran out of ammunition – just seconds before the whole fucking thing exploded. Wounded, dazed, and in a state of utter exhaustion, Murphy then called his men forward and organized a counterattack to sweep the rest of the Germans out of the forest. This one man just stopped six tanks and 250 soldiers. I do that in motherfucking Call of Duty, you're not supposed to be able to do that in real life.
Malaria kills people. Its symptoms include, but are not limited to, fever, sudden coldness, shivering, vomiting, and convulsions. Audie Murphy contracted Malaria in Italy. He's had it this entire time. He did all of this while suffering with motherfucking Malaria. It's impossible to fully grasp this without causing your ears to spontaneously start bleeding.
Audie Murphy received 33 medals during his service, including the Medal of Honor and the Distinguished Service Cross. Plus five more from France. And one from Belgium. He's the most decorated American soldier in history.
After coming back from the war, Audie became a successful actor and composer. He was an action hero in To Hell and Back. You know who he played? HIMSELF. You really wanna know how fucking badass this guy was? His own autobiography is an action movie. And he was modest about it too. He had the producers take out scenes from HIS OWN AUTOBIOGRAPHY because he was afraid people might not believe the very things he actually did.
For the rest of his life, Murphy struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder, which at the time was very misunderstood and considered taboo. Upon witnessing the same things happening to veterans returning from Korea and Vietnam, he became one of the first voices to openly speak out about it, and called on the U.S. government to take the emotional impact of war more seriously. He died tragically in a plane crash in 1971. His grave is the second most visited in Arlington Cemetery, right after John F. Kennedy's.
I can't wait for Inglorious Basterds. I love watching Nazis getting their fucking shit blown.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Third post in a single day, I think that might be a record for me. In my defense, the first one shouldn't count because it was in the wee ours of the morning shortly before going to sleep.
"At first the meeting seemed to be going well. My wife made it clear early on that she was a believer, but agreed with the goals of this group, and after a few quick questions (and glances) it seemed to pass. A few people had not seen each other in some time, and there was a good deal of conversation on my end of the table about people and events I didn’t have a clue (or care) about.
But eventually it somehow got back to this one person questioning my wife on her beliefs. At first he made the assumption the being a believer in god makes her automatically a christian, which I quickly dismissed (in fact my wife agrees that the bible is fiction, and while it has some very good ideas such as the golden rule, it also has some horrendous ideas such as homosexuality being an abomination). After the attempted christian bashing ended, I felt that perhaps the matter would drop, but while I was distracted in another conversation, he went back after her again, questioning her beliefs, how far they extend, and attempting to poke logical holes in her beliefs (specifically her belief that there is a purpose for things).
Now my wife and I have had these conversations many times, and while we have not come to agreement, I don’t recall either of us using profanity or raising our voices loud enough to draw the attention of half a bar in our direction. I also don’t recall wait staff stopping to stare at us having a conversation on religion, or giving either of us support during a discussion. This is not to say we don’t argue, this is just that when we’ve discussed religion, we’ve managed to remain civil.
But this was not to be a civil conversation on this particular night. Profanity, dismissal, contempt, vitriol… These would be the best words to describe this evening.
As I mentioned previously, my wife held her own quite well, and on at least one major point (which I believe the entire bar heard, as well as pedestrians within a 2 to 3 block range) I believe she made him look like a hypocritical jackass."
The most badass motherfucker who fought in World War II is debatable, but the craziest motherfucker was undoubtedly a great man named Jack Churchill. Don't believe me? Go ahead a click on this picture. Get a good look at it. Go ahead.
Now, who the heck is that guy over there on the far right leading that charge? Is he holding something in his hand there? What is that? Oh yeah, that's right. It's a fucking sword.
Jack Churchill once said “Any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed.” One time he captured 42 Germans with nothing but his Scottish Claymore. Why? Because he's fucking Jack Churchill, that's why.
He simply took a sentry hostage, and went around from post to post demanding that they all surrender or else he'd slit the fucker's throat. His thoughts afterwards?
“I maintain that, as long as you tell a German loudly and clearly what to do, if you are senior to him he will cry 'jawohl' (yes sir) and get on with it enthusiastically and efficiently whatever the situation.”
Jack Churchill joined the British Commandos without even know what they did. He only signed up because he thought “it sounded dangerous.”
In May 1940, Jack Churchill and his unit were ambushed by some Nazis. He didn't kill the German Sergeant with a gun. He killed the German Sergeant with a longbow. Jack Churchill represented England in the 1939 Archery World Championships.
When Jack Churchill led a raid on a German garrison in Norway on December 27 1941, he jumped off the first landing craft playing “The March of the Cameron Men” on his motherfucking bagpipes. Yeah. He also had bagpipes. Seriously. Then he chucked a grenade and broke off into a sprint. Two hours later, British High Command received the following message:
“Maaloy battery and island captured. Casualties slight. Demolitions in progress. Churchill.”
In 1944, Jack Churchill led a Commando team in an assault on Hill 622. Only he and six others survived long enough to reach the objective, but once they got there, those six were all killed or mortally wounded with a mortar shell. Then Churchill just stood there and played “Will Ye No Come Back Again?” on his bagpipes until he was knocked unconscious by a grenade.
He was interrogated and sent off to Sachsenhausen concentration camp. Then he crawled under some wire and escaped, because he's motherfucking Jack Churchill, and no concentration camp can hold him.
Then they caught him again, and sent him to Niederdorf. Then he escaped again. You know why? You guessed it, because he's motherfucking Jack Churchill, and no concentration camp can hold him. He walked 150 miles across the Alps and met up with some Americans in Italy. By the time he got there, the war was over. He wanted to go over to Japan, but then the bombs were dropped. He was disappointed.
“If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another ten years!”
But it didn't end there. In 1948, Jack Churchill saved the lives of 700 Jewish doctors by leading them away from a Palestinian massacre.
None of this is made up. Jack Churchill really existed, and he really did all of this. God bless you, Jack Churchill. Hopefully instead of in heaven, God put you on the ancient battlefields of Gaul where you belong.
Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room . . . Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.
I guess Vince was just... SLAPPIN' his troubles away!
Aside from having a pretty fucking badass name, Spartacus was also pretty fucking badass person. He led a gladiator/slave rebellion that ended up embarassing Rome's armies time and again, and scared Rome's plebs and Senators shitless. His was not the only slave rebellion in Rome's history, but it was undoubtedly the most successful. Spartacus may not have led the rebellion by himself though; all we know about him comes from Roman historians, not the actual slaves in his army. The Romans probably had a skewed view of how an army should be run, so they may have just assumed Spartacus was the only one in charge. Most sources say he had an inner circle, and they may have all decided on things together.
Not much is known about Spartacus before his rebellion. Sources agree unanimously on two things: he was once a soldier in the Roman military, and he was from Thrace (modern day Bulgaria and Turkey). He probably deserted the army, perhaps in the middle of a battle. The Roman military was a very tight group, and when someone deserted, they showed no mercy. Spartacus was found, and sold into slavery. Slaves who were former soldiers were almost always shipped off on a one way trip to the arena. Keep in mind the Colosseum wasn't even built yet, that's about 150 years down the line. There were hundreds of smaller, much less epic arenas scattered all around the Roman Republic, and it's estimated that millions of people died in them.
In 73 BC, Spartacus and about seventy other gladiators were training, when they suddenly decided they weren't going to put up with Rome's shit, and organized an escape. They stole kitchen knives and a wagon full of weapons, and got the fuck out of there. They travelled the countryside freeing slaves, recruiting followers, pillaging, plundering, and being all round total badasses. Spartacus's chief aides were all from Gaul and Germania (modern day France and Germany, respectively). HE HAD GOD DAMN BARBARIANS ADVISING HIM.
A young Julius Caesar was Military Tribune on the Plebian Council during this time, but it's not clear what role, if any, he played in quelling the uprising.
The Senate sent a young praetor named Claudius Glaber with 3,000 men to put the slaves down. Glaber besieged the rebels on Mount Vesuvius, and blocked the only path up or down. He was content with starving them until they surrendered. But Spartacus and his army didn't want to do that. They went and made some rope out of vines, and climbed down the cliffs. Of a fucking volcano. Sure, it wasn't erupting at the time, but seriously - a volcano.
Glaber wasn't expecting any trouble from a bunch of stupid slaves, so he staked up his camp with barely any fortifications. The slave army swept in from behind and destroyed them.
Word of Spartacus's triumph spread far and wide, and slaves all across Italy orchestrated escapes to join his army. Spartacus's forces allegedly grew to over 120,000. But most of them were just a bunch of rabble with no military training at all. So Spartacus decided to set up a hidden camp on Vesuvius, and he started training them. If I was given the choice of being morphed into a killing machine at any location on the planet, I'm pretty sure I'd pick a secret gladiator base on top of a volcano.
Their intent is not known. Plutarch says they wanted to escape into Gaul away from Rome forever, but Appian and Florus said their ultimate goal was to capture the city of Rome itself. A few accounts say there was a split among the slaves; Spartacus wanted to escape over the Alps, but another leader, Crixus, wanted to stay in Italy and plunder, though there is no direct evidence to support this split.
Click to see the full size
They set out north in spring of the next year, all the way up near Gaul. Some theories suggest that 10,000 or so non-fighting followers (elderly, women, children and the like) crossed the Alps and returned to their homelands, but again, there's no direct evidence to support this. Then they decided to turn around and whoop the asses of two more legions led by Marcus Crassus. By the end of the year, the slave army set up camp all the way down near the Strait of Messina. Spartacus tried to make a deal with some Cilician pirates to sail them into Sicily, but it fell through.
The Senate knew the army was now cornered against the sea, so they recalled three of their best generals to meet and decimate them (one of whom was Pompey Magnus, who would stand up against Julius Caesar in the civil war twenty years later). The slave army was weakened by its many battles, but they managed to break through Crassus's lines and make a break for north. However, they realized that Pompey and Varro were trying to entrap them, so they stopped and launched their full strength towards Crassus at the river Silarus, where they were annihilated.
According to Plutarch,
"Then pushing his way towards Crassus himself through many flying weapons and wounded men, [Spartacus] did not indeed reach him, but slew two centurions who fell upon him together. Finally, after his companions had taken to flight, he stood alone, surrounded by a multitude of foes, and was still defending himself when he was cut down."
6,600 of Spartacus's followers were crucified and set up along the Appian Way, one of the longest and most travelled roads in Italy. Crassus never gave the order for the bodies to be taken down, so for years after the battle took place, travelers had to walk for miles past thousands of crucified slave skeletons.
Appian Way
5,000 managed to escape and tried to flee north, but Pompey subsequently caught up and wiped them out. Pompey claimed all the credit for quelling the rebellion, even though he was under Crassus the entire time and obeyed his orders. Crassus would be forgotten, but Pompey's popularity would soar, and he would be propelled into power.
About a year ago, I made an impulse buy and got Spartacus on DVD. Aside from the awesome battle scene at the end, it was pretty fucking terrible, and I will never watch that trash ever again. In the movie, Spartacus survived the battle, and when the Romans tried to crucify him, every slave claimed to be Spartacus so they couldn't know who he was. And that's why the Romans crucified the entire army!
They also invented a love interest for Spartacus, and romanticized his motives to make it seem like he was fighting to free people across the Roman countryside, when in reality, he just didn't want to be a fucking slave. The funniest part was when a Roman guard referred to a black gladiator as a “negro,” even though that word didn't exist in their language, and they just used "African." This was made in 1960.
For the past couple weeks, I've been typing up in a Word document a list of some of the world's biggest badasses. I made lists a lot back in my livejournal, because livejournal had an option called "lj-cut", which was that "Read More" link that took you to a whole new page, with the rest of the post. It's possible to this with Blogger, but you have to get into the CSS code, or HTML code, or whatever the hell you want to call it, and mess around with it. I've been trying to understand how to do it since I created this thing, and I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that I will never figure it out. This is why I haven't made any lists yet. They just take up so much space, which causes the main page to slow down if you put them there.
So I don't really know how to go about this. I have a bunch of badasses on this list, but I don't want to post everything at once. So I've decided that every few days, or whenever the fuck I feel like it really, I'll make a post with a badass or two. This kind of sounds like a cool idea to me, and I'll probably continue doing it even after I run out of the people that I've already written down so far.
-------------------------------------
Andrew Jackson
Andrew Jackson was the seventh President of the United States. His presidency is traditionally considered the first of the new generation, the one that took over right after the founders (or people who played themselves off as founders but really weren't, cough cough John Quincy Adams cough). Jackson's morally questionable policies as president will not be focused on here. The focus here will be his badassery as a person. Jackson had an unbelievable temper. It was always sparked by such the smallest thing, that it should be considered comedic. That's how awesome this dude was.
Jackson enlisted in the Continental Army at the age of 12 and was a courier during the Revolutionary War. He was captured a year later. This British officer ordered young Jackson to shine his boots. Jackson told him to fuck a donkey. The guy got pissed and slashed Jackson's face and hand with his sword, leaving him with a couple scars. He was later released during a prisoner exchange, and served for the rest of the war.
After his entire family died of illness, he went into law. Being a young lawyer with an extremely dangerous temper, Jackson challenged another lawyer to a duel – simply because he would be Jackson's very first opponent in court. The guy didn't accept for some reason.
In 1806, Jackson beat a man named Charles Dickinson in a bet on a horse race. So Dickinson did what any rational person would do, and called his wife a whore. Andrew Jackson challenged him to a duel. Dickinson was one of the best duelists in the country. He had 26 human deaths under his belt. Jackson knew he couldn't kill him if he tried to fire at the same time, because Dickinson's shot could easily throw him off. So he simply stood there and allowed this man to shoot him directly in the chest. I'd like to think that Jackson at that moment looked down at the hole in his chest, touched it, brought his hand up to his mouth, licked his own blood, and treacherously smiled in Charles Dickinson's direction. Whether or not that's true, we do know that Jackson then raised up his pistol, took aim, and shot Dickinson dead. The bullet was so close to Jackson's heart, that it couldn't be removed. He carried it with him for the rest of his life. Jackson later recalled that he would have done anything to kill that man. And he did. He took a bullet in the motherfucking chest just to make sure it got done right.
He soon joined the military, and quickly rose in the ranks. Then in 1812, the British decided to invade America again. Jackson was eventually put in charge of defending the key port city of New Orleans. A huge force of 14,000 British troops were swooping in to gain control of the Mississippi River, and Andrew Jackson was in their way. Jackson realized he was dreadfully outnumbered and outgunned, so what did he do? He went around the area and scrapped together a force made up of U.S. sailors, Marines, soldiers, militias, Choctaw Indians, and free blacks. Then he sailed out to Barataria Bay and enlisted some pirates. Yeah, pirates. Seriously. General Jackson had magically pulled 4,000 soldiers straight out of his ass.
8,000 British troops assaulted New Orleans on January 8, 1815, outnumbering the Americans almost 2 to 1. Well, Jackson dug in deep, and he kicked their sissy asses. The British suffered over 2,000 casualties. The Americans - 71. Andrew Jackson became a national hero, and his victory at New Orleans would catapult him to the presidency 20 years later.
A peace treaty was signed overseas fifteen days earlier.
On January 8 1835, a man named Richard Lawrence walked up to the president and pulled out a pistol. At ten feet away, he pointed it directly at him, and pulled the trigger. The powder didn't ignite, and the gun misfired. Jackson charged at him. Lawrence dropped that pistol, and pulled out another one. That misfired too. Whoops. A navy lieutenant knocked Lawrence to the ground right about the same time that Jackson decided he had had enough of his fucking shit. The President of the United States of America, at 67 years of age, proceeded to fucking wail on this dude with his god damn hickory cane. He was so god damn pissed, that he had to be physically restrained by the secretary of the treasury and the secretary of the navy.
Lawrence's pistols were examined afterwards. Both were loaded correctly, and both fired fine when they tested them out. The odds of two perfectly fine pistols misfiring in the same attack? 125,000 to 1. They were probably scared of Andrew Jackson.
Richard Lawrence once tried to kill his sister, and in captivity he claimed he was the King of England. Despite his obvious insanity (or perhaps royalty?), Andrew Jackson was a paranoid fuck and became convinced that Lawrence was an agent sent by his political enemies. The political attacks he endured during his first Presidential Campaign caused his wife so much stress that she died, so you can't really blame him for not liking them too much.
As an ultimate testament to his life, Andrew Jackson's pet parrot had to be removed from his funeral because it wouldn't stop swearing. True story.
Andrew Jackson was also a fucking racist shithead bastard, and was solely responsible for the Trail of Tears. A Choctaw Indian who had served under him at New Orleans said many years later that if he had known what Jackson would eventually do, he would have shot him.
A pastor went on an atheist blog and invented a false identity. He pretended to be an atheist. We're left with such insights as,
What’s wrong with killing babies? I see no problem with it. I have enough mouths to feed. I don’t get the argument and I am an atheist. Since I don’t believe in God, I don’t believe in anything characterized as good, bad / right, wrong. So, what’s the big deal?
and
If a man wants to make a women his b****, so be it? So what if you don’t like it, what if I do?
If I want to do something, and my conscience is cool with it, then I can do it. If it’s feed a homeless person, so be it. If it’s kill my neighbor, so be it. I am not bound to any morals.
You can tell he lacks morals because he censored the word "bitch."
Well, it has a happy ending. The blogger found out who he was and called out his shit, but the pastor refused to give any sincere apology. He was banned from commenting. After further anger, the pastor apologized, and admitted his wrongdoing. All was forgiven, he was unbanned, and the blogger welcomed him to contribute his comments in the future. I love rationality.
News channels are shit. Complete, and utter shit. All of them. When they aren't stroking themselves over "The Irrelevant Outrage and/or Fear of the Week," they hire partisan hacks to throw pies at each other. Political shows like Olbermann and Hannity are fun, but the problem is that people often mistake them for actual news instead of opinions (mostly Hannity viewers). Don't watch the 24 hour news stations expecting to gain any sort of relevant information, because they're nothing but entertainment. Mainstream journalism is dead. These guys have helped contribute to the dumbing down of the American public because of the complete lack of intelligent discussion on their stations.
A police officer shot and killed a 73 year old black man at a family gathering, in front of his grandchildren. Witnesses say the officer's partner then tried to plant a gun on him. Police Chief - "If I see three or four young black men walking down the street, I have to stop them and check their names," said Mills, who is white. "I want them to be afraid every time they see the police that they might get arrested. We're not out there trying to abuse and harass people—we're trying to protect the law-abiding citizens locked behind their doors in fear."
Darfur, but this isn't really a surprise since nobody gives a shit about Africa anyway (I hear there's a lot of black people in Africa)
You don't learn about these things on television and what's left of newpapers. At least not in detail. Too depressing. The internet is an excellent source for stories like these. I'd hate to give a shout out to reddit, but that site is very good with this stuff. Just avoid the comments, because they're all a bunch of teenage, opinionated, dumbass libertarians. A lot of conspiracy theorists, too.
I'm sure there are a lot of good news blogs out there, but so far Goatmilk is the only truly great one I've come across. They focus on the Middle East, and also talk about what's going on in mainstream Islam.
But there's also important news that doesn't involve people dying. That's where podcasts come in. Every single one of my favorite news shows have put themselves up on iTunes for no cost. They download directly to my computer each time they air. I fucking love the future. Awesome podcasts are:
Fareed Zakaria's GPS, which airs Sundays on CNN. Fareed is my hero. He is fucking brilliant. He gets a panel who actually knows what the fuck they're talking about (I'm talking Nobel Prize winners like every week). Fareed asks them the best freakin' questions, and makes the world news easy to understand.
Al Jazeera has something called The Listening Post. For every story they cover, they always show how the rest of the media is treating it, and if any of it is biased. They're a little biased themselves, but it's okay because at least they're honest about it instead of pretending to be fair and balanced like other sources I won't name.
Meet the Press with David Gregory is fantastic. They always get the country's most important politcians on. Gregory is always unbiased, and does a great job at playing the devil's advocate with everyone.
Gwen Ifill hosts PBS's Washington Week, which basically summarizes what happened on the Hill during the week. They always get excellent panels, who can discuss things in a clear, coherent fashion. Ifill caused a stir among Republicans a few months ago because she was to moderate the Vice Presidential debate. She had just written a book called The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama. It was phoney outrage obviously, not only because Gwen moderated a debate in 2004 with absolutely no problems, but also because her book isn't about supporting Barack's policies at all. It's about how the Civil Rights leaders of the 60s are beginning to step down, and how a new generation of black leaders - more than just Obama - are trying to find their place. It actually looks really good, and I want to read it.
And I know I just ripped on 24 hour news channels, but CNN has a podcast called CNN=Politics Daily, which is great if you're too busy to watch a full program. It's usually around fifteen minutes or less. It's a bunch of spliced together television footage that played earlier in the day, covering American politics. It's basically the day's sparknotes. And CNN is actually pretty balanced compared to MSNBC and Fox, so that's a plus too.
So I guess my final point is that good news sources are kind of like good bands. They're there, you just have to look hard enough.
See the entry from earlier today, about O'Reilly and Terkel.
Dat gotdang far left librul internetz is getting into an uproar over this! This guy here has posted the ambusher's email address, and those paranoid morons at reddit posted his possible phone number. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people? They're just giving Bill more ammunition. He's probably going to say in his typical paranoid fashion that dat far leftist librul blogger Amanda Terkel obviously orchestrated the whole thing, since she is also on the internet. Everyone on the internet is in contact with each other.
Well, not that it needs to be repeated any more, but Bill O'Reilly is pretty much a fucking scumbag. Not too long ago, he was scheduled to speak at the Alexa Foundation, which supports rape survivors. A blogger named Amanda Terkel brought to everyone's attention that Bill shouldn't speak there, because of some comments he made in the past which implied that rape victims were somehow at fault for being raped.
Now Moore, Jennifer Moore, 18, on her way to college. She was 5-foot-2, 105 pounds, wearing a miniskirt and a halter top with a bare midriff. Now, again, there you go. So every predator in the world is gonna pick that up at two in the morning. She’s walking by herself on the West Side Highway, and she gets picked up by a thug. All right. Now she’s out of her mind, drunk.
and
I think it’s safe to say that if Mel Gibson didn’t get drunk, he wouldn’t be in this terrible situation he finds himself in. And if a young woman, 18-year-old Jennifer Moore of Harrington Park, NJ, didn’t get drunk, she’d be alive today.
Well, Bill didn't take Ms. Terkel's quest for truth too kindly, so instead of inviting her on his show to explain herself, he ambushes her on the street, heavily edits the "interview" to make her look foolish, and calls her a liar because she wasn't able to remember Bill's exact quote.
I love how Bill calls her a "villain," and gives her labels such as "far-left blogger" and propagandist. The producer who stalked Terkel told her she doesn't even know what Bill meant by the comments, and they were taken out of context. This is what these people do. Whenever conservative shitheads like Bill, or Rush, or Coulter, or Hannity say something utterly retarded that can't be defended, they just shout "OUT OF CONTEXT" without even bothering to explain what the original context of the statement was. Bill never played the soundbites in question, nor did he even try to defend them. All he did was make a sorry attempt at attacking Terkel's credibility, and in the eyes of his viewers, he probably succeeded.
Oh, and did anyone else catch him calling Media Matters a "hate group?" Quoting transcripts in full = Hate Group.
Needless to say, Terkel wasn't too happy. She wrote this this morning, and rips Bill a new one. Not that he'll take notice, his viewers can barely read anyway.
Politico is calling it "friendly fire": The New York Times' top liberal voices all criticized President Obama this weekend, with gripes ranging from the economy to national security. Maureen Dowd accused the White House of treating Wall Street's worst with "kid gloves" and Geithner of being an i-bank apologist; Frank Rich called bonus-gate Obama's 'Katrina Moment'; and Thomas Friedman said America has "an absence of inspirational leadership." Meanwhile, Republican leaders Arnold Schwarzenegger and Michael Bloomberg lauded Obama on Sunday's Meet the Press. Bloomberg said Obama "deserves a lot of credit" for following up on campaign promises, and that the president has been able to "galvanize Congress" and "galvanize the country" to fight the recession. Schwarzenegger thanked America's collectively lucky stars "that this president is listening" to what we need.
I wonder what Rush would think of this?
"B-b-b-but... liberal media conspiracy... communists... drive-by media... liberals..." (face explodes)
The difference between liberal news and Fox is that the outlets like the New York Times and MSNBC aren't afraid to criticize a president they typically like, if they feel they need to. I've seen both Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow do this before, it's not exactly new. If anything, it only makes me respect them more - they seek truth instead of blind obedience.
Here's an insane but interesting "Sky is Falling!" article. It draws on the similarities of America's current situation, and Germany's Weimar Republic. The Weimar Republic was the government that took over Germany immediately following World War I. It attempted to establish a liberal democracy, after the German right pounded on the drums for war and caused their economy to completely collapse. It failed upon the rise of Hitler. This article pointed out a lot of resemblances concerning Germany's right and America's right, such as taking deliberate action to make the leadership fail out of a "masturbatory lust for the return to power," or pointing the finger not at the right wing that caused the mess, but at some obscure "government".
Now, no rational person should agree with this dude's conclusion. I think he's overblowing the financial crisis just a tad, and we're probably not going to see Republicans go around the streets kicking the shit out of political opponents any time soon. The rise and fall of fascism was two generations ago. I have faith in humanity, I think we've matured a lot since then. We should just look at this article on a psychological level. I think it's interesting how human beings repeat certain things when the conditions are somewhat similar.
A bit off topic, but up until recently, I've resisted calling Fox News "propaganda". It's only conservatively biased, I mean at least they weren't flat out making shit up, right? Well I guess I just haven't watched it in a while, because there's really no other name you can call this.
I hope Glenn Beck launches a revolution. Then I'd be able to legally shoot him.
I strongly believe the Iran situation is the biggest crisis in the Middle East right now. There's a good chance that Iran might be capable of producing a nuclear weapon within the next six years. Some of the left leaning blogs near the end of the Bush Administration really started to piss me off with their position on this. A lot of them assumed it was just more conservative fear mongering, and they're overblowing the situation just like they did with Iraq. But that's not the way it is at all, because unlike with Iraq, other countries are actually shitting their pants over this. Even though Saddam was a fucking douchebag and the people of Iraq are going to be better off without him in the long run, the toppling of his government has opened up a power gap in the region that Iran has now filled. Our invasion of Iraq has made Iran more powerful, which is exactly what the experts feared the most upon our invasion.
I'm fairly liberal on almost every significant issue, but I'm actually pretty conservative when it comes to this shit, as I'm sure most rational people are. I am not a pacifist. I would not be against air strikes on key Iranian targets if this situation escalated, because Ahmadinejad is not fucking around.
If there is one reason above all others why I am so fucking glad that John McCain is not the president - it is not the economy, it's not stem cell research, it's not even global warming - it is the god damned fuckfest in the Middle East.
McCain's stance on Iraq? Keep fighting until the eyeballs of kittens explode and rainbows fly out.
McCain's stance on Iran? Shut them out and don't talk to them. That'll do it! They'll hault their nuclear program and stop giving aid to Iraqi insurgents lickity-split, because they're just so gawrsh darn fwustwated that we're not giving them any attention! Problem solved! I never realized that treating the leader of the most powerful nation in the Arab world like a child would make him immediately stand down! Thanks John McCain!
This kind of damned incompetence is exactly why I'm more thrilled than anything that Barack Obama is in the White House. You know what the reaction throughout the Middle East was after Barack Obama's first interview with Dubai's Al-Arabiya? The Arab world was freakin' ecstatic! Imagine - the president of the United States treating them like actual human beings instead of like the Tusken Raiders from Star Wars! Seriously, I'm not exaggerating here, they loved it. I've watched interviews of average citizens on the streets (I can't remember the source, might have been Al-Jazeera), and they were just happy that the president was trying to reach out to them for once. That's all they've ever wanted, they just want to work with us.
Welp. That ol' rascal Obama is at it again. He just released this video tonight - "The President's Message to the Iranian People"
GOD. DAMN. HOW. HOW DOES PRESIDENT OBAMA KEEP THE AWESOME DRIPPING DOWN HIS FACE LIKE THIS. IT'S TOO MUCH. NO ONE POSSESSES THAT MUCH AWESOME. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
I love the messages he's sending with this. First and foremost, he lists the similarities of Iranians and Americans. He points out that America's going by a new game plan, that we actually give a shit about diplomacy now. He stresses that America wants to be on friendly terms with Iran, but they can't keep issuing threats and stomping their feet. He lets them know he appreciates their culture by quoting Saadi. But most importantly, he keeps reminding everyone that we all share the same humanity.
This is beautiful. Jesus. If world leaders would have acted like this during the Cold War instead of going by the international standard of waving their cocks in each other's faces, the wall probably would have fallen decades earlier. I wonder what the Republican reaction to this is going to be? My bet is the crazies will pull the Muslim card again. "WHY IS OBAMA TRYING TO BE SO FRIENDLY TO THE MUSLIMS IF HE AIN'T A MUSLIM HIMSELF. WE'RE AT WAR. THOSE TUSKEN RAIDERS STOLE MY MOISTURE VAPORATORS."
And you know what the awesome thing about this is? The Iranian people actually want this. Ahmadinejad is extremely conservative, and the Iranians are kind of getting fed up with it. The Iranian President is elected by a direct vote, and can only serve two terms. Their elections will be coming up in June, so who knows, Ahmadinejad might even be voted out! Assuming the election isn't rigged again.
This is a followup to the last entry. I love Penn Jillette. I don't agree with half the crazy libertarian shit he says, but he's still extremely intelligent and thinks things through, so you gotta at least have respect for him. What he touches on here is exactly what I was trying to get into in the last entry. What makes you an atheist or an agnostic is simply how you define the words.
"I see the question of atheist or theist as not 'Is there a God?' Because I supposethe answer at some sort of real, honest, gut-level, the answer to the question 'Is there a God' either has to be, or certainly is very reasonably, 'I don't know'. BUT--I don't see the atheist/theist question as being 'Is there a God', I see it as being 'Do you BELIEVE in a God'. And that's the only question I care about, 'Do you BELIEVE in a God.' I don't care if you know there is a God or not, I don't care if it's knowable or unknowable, but do you BELIEVE in a God. And I think in that sense, many of your agnostics automatically become atheist."
And he's absolutely right, because I would be an atheist if that's how I defined it. But the problem is that if his definition of atheism is correct, then agnosticism doesn't exist. I have to disagree with Penn - I view atheism as a question of 'Do you know there is a God', because I do actually care about that question. Whether it is knowable or unknowable is important to me. And that's the jist of it. That is the only reason I don't call myself an atheist. I just don't think the question is as simple as he thinks.
Pretty interesting. This is a little old if you follow the Atheist blogs, but I'm just now seeing it for the first time.
A natonwide survey was conducted last year about religion. It shows the differences in religious views from 1990 to 2008. People appear to be leaving religion now more than ever.
Am I alone in thinking that it's mostly our generation who are responsible for this? From what I've seen, our age group tends to look pretty liberally at religion. It's really only the baby boomers and older who grasp it so tightly. Our coming of age and their dying off probably has something to do with this.
Another observation. Actually, it's a cheap shot. It's no secret that the Bible Belt's general population has historically been a bunch of fucking morons - their resistance to African American rights in the 1950s and 1960s; seceding from the Union; viewing the kidnapping and enslavement of human beings as some sort of "tradition" or "institution"; the strong loyalty to Britain among the population during the Revolutionary War; almost unanimous support for John McCain in 2008. Does their lack of drastic change concerning religion say something about religious belief?
There's something that made me laugh when this made its rounds through the atheist blogosphere. A lot of the atheist blogs I saw - at least the ones written by dumb people - assumed that "Nonreligious" is made up almost entirely of atheists and agnostics. There's no doubt that they contributed a lot to this, but I mean, you can still believe in a god and not be an official member of a church. I never identified myself with Methodism growing up like my parents, since we never went to church. I just went by "Christian" and kept to myself.
I usually attack organized religion in this blog, but I have a serious problem with modern atheism too. I'm not talking about the atheists who actually think before they speak. I'm talking about the angry neckbeards on the internet who love it when pissing contests replace civil discussions. I'm talking about the atheists from which Christians develop their negative view of atheism, the guys that ruin it for the rest of the atheists. The ones Christians would describe as "the militants." The Dawkins fans.
First of all, they always confuse "god" with "religion." Richard Dawkins should rename his book to The Religion Delusion, because that is all he fucking talked about. I was really let down, because I was hoping he might have offered something actually worth discussing like, gee I don't know, maybe some philosophy? Instead, the book focused entirely on how Christians and Muslims ARE SUCH DUM DUMS AND I LIKE SCIENCE LOL. These guys think that if you believe in any sort of god, you have to blindly follow an invisible Zeus-lookalike who grants wishes if you shut your eyes and click your heels three times. They completely ignore philosophies like Deism and (sometimes) Humanism. I take this personally because I was a Deist for like three years, and these morons always pissed me off.
It's simply because they don't look at atheism as the philosophy that it is. While they certainly agree with all of its philosophical arguments, it is their unbridled aggressiveness towards religion that expresses louder than anything what their actual priorities are - being edgy and rebelling just for the sake of rebelling. They develop this angry group mentality and unite under a banner to make fun of every person who doesn't think like they do. It's no different from the tribal structure of organized religion they worked so hard to break apart from in the first place.
And you know what busts my balls the most? Some of them even hate agnostics. Stephen Colbert jokingly calls agnostics "atheists without balls", but these arrogant pricks actually take that definition seriously. Their generalizations of agnostics are just as misinformed as their generalizations of Christians. They just think agnostics are too dumb and insecure to make a decision, or they're simply confused and don't realize they're atheists. It's actually the other way around, atheists don't realize they're agnostics. Hear me out.
Atheism has highjacked agnosticism's definition. Most atheists will tell you that atheism is simply the lack of belief in a deity. When Christians claim that you can't prove there is no god, atheists will correctly respond by saying that it's impossible to prove the nonexistence of something, and it's foolish to try to. So they are admitting that you can't be certain there is no god. That isagnosticism. My computer's dictionary defines atheism as "the theory or belief that God does not exist." This is what atheism originally was - the claim that it's outright impossible for god to exist. It's only in the modern era where atheists redefined it as "a lack of belief," which cannot be correct because that definition would mean agnostics are atheists too.
Going by the original definition, all atheists should be willing to admit with 100% certainty that there is no god, and yet this is contradictory to what most of them claim. To prove there is no god, one would have to find evidence for his nonexistence, which is impossible. They simply notice the complete lack of evidence for a god, so they assume one does not exist - as they should, because it's only logical. But an assumption is not proof. Agnosticism is the best philosophy to live by, precisely because god's nonexistence cannot be proven.
Atheists justifiably say that the burden of proof falls on the theists, but if this original definition of atheism is the true one, then that means they should have to put something forward too if they're going to claim it's impossible for a universal creator to exist. All I'm saying is that our flawed minds are extremely limited, and we do not have the capacity to know this shit.
Am I wrong? Did I define these right? Doesn't anyone notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Christ. Why are conservatives such morons. I know I end up asking this question in one form or another in like every other post on this thing, but I'd really wish someone would answer it for me.
5-year-old Kate raised one [sign] that read "Stay out of my piggy bank."
Because she's five. Get it?
Are these people dense? First of all, what a great way to rape the memory of the bravest heroes who have ever stepped foot on American soil. The Boston Tea Party wasn't carried out by a bunch of middle aged fat people who had no problems exploiting their children for political purposes. The Sons of Liberty were fucking. SERIOUS. They didn't stand around with their hands in their pockets and laugh about how much of a big dum dum Great Britain was. They were fuckingangry. They tore down the homes of tax collecters, brick by brick. They stripped tax collectors of their clothes, drenched them in hot tar, smothered them with feathers, and paraded them through the god damned streets. They screamed "Fire, damn you, FIRE!" at a group of British soldiers while hurling rocks and clubs at them, provoking the Boston Massacre. They were able and willing to get fucking shot for what they believed in. These idiots are calling their protest a "Tea Party" in their memory, and it fucking infuriates me, as well as it should every other American proud enough to actually remember the sacrifices they made for us. I know we as liberals have always made fun of conservatives for accusing us of being somehow "less American," but I'm going to go ahead and say it in complete seriousness - this lessens their status as Americans. This is utterly disgusting, and the complete absence of any sort of outrage only proves how far we as a country have fallen.
Most of the outrage I express in this blog is satire and shouldn't be taken seriously, but I mean every single word of this. Our founders did what they did, not only for us, but for humanity as a whole. They believed no mere government has the power to give or take away rights to human beings because all people - because of their status as people - are by nature given inherent human rights at birth. I love my country with a fucking passion, and these retards are exploiting it for their close-minded and ignorant political goals. They have absolutely no clue with what they're messing with; this is just so above them. Get out of the streets and pick up a god damn book. Jesus. Titty. Fucking. Christ.
And second, these guys actually think this protest will have any sort of impact, at all? Were they even conscious during the Bush years? They do know all those people who protested the Iraq War achieved absolutely nothing, right? Modern protesting is completely pointless. You can't stand out there holding a sign and obey the law if you want people to listen. In modern protesting, you're forced to remain in one area, you have to acquire a permit, and hell, these pussies won't even block traffic. The reason why the protests of yesteryear always worked was because the people who took part in them disrupted 'business as usual.' The Civil Rights Movement was a success because crowds refused to disperse when they were sprayed with fire hoses and mauled by dogs. The Boston Tea Party worked because it destroyed government property - the value of which would be millions of dollars in today's currency.
The only goal of modern protesting is so people of one mind can get together and inflate their egos. It's nothing but sing-a-longs and pointless symbolism, and it accomplishes absolutely fucking nothing. That kind of pussy protesting will never change athing. Ever.
"I'm frustrated with the way things are going in Congress. They need to remember that they work for us, and right now, we don't approve."
Indeed.
"This is not a Democrat thing or a Republican thing."
Yes it is. Stop it.
"The American people are outraged. All you have to do is look around."
The outrage. IT'S SO DEEP!
A lone Obama supporter made her way through the edge of the gated area, shouting "O-bam-a" to jeers from the crowd.
tee hee
Does anyone know their Great Depression history? I know Republican politicians fought FDR's spending, but did they actually manage to brainwash idiots into following along with them? I'm curious. I doubt it, since this was before McCarthy, and Republicans probably hadn't yet learned how effective a tool fear can be.
I can't wait until we start seeing the effects of the stimulus, so these idiots will shut the fuck up. No wait, it'll just be Bush's tax cuts kicking in.
Many, many millions of years ago, this lake was connected to the ocean. It is no longer connected to the ocean. Natural selection has gotten rid of all the Jellyfish's poison stingers, because they have no predators in their new environment. There is nothing for them to eat in this lake, so they live completely off photosynthesis.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Oh man, check this out. It looks like some guy I barely know posted this on facebook a few months ago.
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On election day 1789 the American people cast their ballots for president for the first time in our nations history. While there were most certainly several issues and positions the candidates took that drove the voter to a particular side, one thing was clear. The American people wanted leadership and innate character from their president.
Washington ran unopposed, so no one considered anything really.
I believe that has rung true up until this year’s election. Sure we have made mistakes with examples being the sexual deviant and chief Bill Clinton, the dunce in chief Jimmy Carter and the socialist in chief Franklin D. Roosevelt. But the American people did see the presidential characteristics in these men no matter how flawed they were.
LIBRUL IN CHIEF LOL.
But today, we could be on the verge of electing the, as John McCain put it, redistributionist and chief or as I’d like to call him comrade in chief Barrack Obama. This is a man who I in no way see Americans finding innate character or leadership from.
Let’s look at character. He was a member of a racist church while lying to the American people when he said he had left since the new minister was at a rally of Obama’s over the weekend [lol this sentence]. He hung around with terrorists who bombed American targets. He admittedly was a drug dealer which the statute of limitations has not passed which actually would send any ordinary citizen to prison.
Obama and Wright are old friends because they worked in the same neighborhoods. Being in the presence of a minister does not make you a member of his church, nor does it mean you automatically agree with every word that comes out of his mouth. Sarah Palin's church had a speaker who claimed to be a witch hunter, and another who said the murder of Jews was the judgment of God. Those are perfectly fine though.
Bill Ayers is a lot closer to the mayor of Chicago, but you're not calling him a terrorist. Ayers teaches at U of I, but you're not calling that school a madrasah. Barack Obama and William Ayers are casual acquaintances, at best. He served his time and was released back into society, it isn't a difficult concept to understand.
Doing drugs is not the same as dealing drugs. He was a teenager, he had no father, and he was struggling with an identity. I would tell you to pick up his autobiography so he can explain it to you himself, but you're probably convinced book lernin' poisons the mind.
Now for leadership. He can’t make a decision with all of the present votes he’s cast in his career. His only accomplishments in the U.S. Senate has been co-sponsoring legislation which is nothing but supporting it. He has never run a business, he has never led any troops, and quite frankly I believe Michelle Obama is running his marriage.
A quick google search implies John McCain never ran a business either. George Bush is a failed businessman.
John McCain's never led troops. And I thought veterans were dumb? Don't you remember back in 2004 when you guys made fun of John Kerry for receiving two purple hearts in Vietnam?
And concerning the Obama marriage, I'm glad to see that American voters take irrelevant "feelings" of theirs into account, instead of hard facts that actually matter. Regardless, you're retarded because they seem extremely happy to me.
I know throwing the terms socialist and communist out there is just considered name calling. But these are true statements about Obama.
No they're not.
Look at the tactics. Going after an ordinary citizen for asking a tough question telling all Americans not to even think about disagreeing with him. Punishing media outlets for simply questioning him. Trying to rig elections by illegal votes.
Name one time Barack Obama mentioned Joe the Plumber's name after the third Presidential Debate. One.
Haha, Fox News a legitimate media outlet. Good one. He didn't shut them out for "simply questioning him," he shut them out because they spread blatant propaganda about him. He went back for an O'Reilly interview anyway, don't complain.
And the Supreme Court, which is conservative, threw out the Acorn case because even they could see how much of a gigantic pile of fanatically partisan horse shit it was.
And how about his positions. Redistribute the wealth and grow the economy from the bottom up. How stupid is he? You can’t grow the economy from the bottom up. A poor man doesn’t give anyone a job. And how did he ever pass a constitutional law class? He wants justices who have empathy and he wants to pull the blindfold off of lady justice.
Conservatives are fine with redistributing the wealth as long as it's being redistributed to the richest 1% of the country.
You CAN grow the economy from the bottom up. It cannot grow if money isn't being put back into it, and it's the middle and lower classes who buy the most shit when they actually have money to do it with. We tried it your way for eight years, and now look where we're at.
Obama taught Constitutional Law for a number of years.
I don't really know where your last sentence is coming from, so I'll just assume you pulled it out of your smelly ass.
Barrack Obama is quite simply a shame to our nation in the fact that there is a good chance he could be our next president. But there is still a chance to right that. While I have had my disagreements with John McCain, I know 100% that he is a man with innate character and he is a true leader. There is no doubt. If you care about freedom, if you care about prosperity and if you care about the decency of America please vote for John McCain.
The decency of America is exactly what I took into account when I cast my vote. I don't want a dumbshit hockey mom to be the second in command of the most powerful nation the earth has ever seen. Are you retarded or something?
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Do Republicans want to know why the college vote went unanimously to Obama? Because they based John McCain's entire campaign on arguments like these.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Man, I post a lot.
Chuck Norris is a pretty conservative guy. He endorsed John McCain during the election, and campaigned for him. Nothing wrong with this, he's using his rights as an American, more power to him.
It's a pretty hilarious article. He did what every idiot does to argue when he can't think of good arguments for himself – just use some random, out of context quotes and morph them around so it looks like they support your views. Dead people know everything, you know! Oh yeah, and he also wants Texas to secede from the Union.
How much more will Americans take? When will enough be enough? And, when that time comes, will our leaders finally listen or will history need to record a second American Revolution?
Third, actually. The Civil War?
You can't get any consistency with America's conservatives. They are the biggest fucking hypocrites on the planet. What happened to all that Bushian rough-talking patriot language? “You have to support your president in a time of war, these libruls are unpatriotic because they don't support their president!” Such PATRIOTS! Libruls are not as American as I am because I redefined "American" to mean everything I agree with.
Anyone remember when these things were passed around in 2000 or 2001 after Al Gore lost?
Hey, at least the Democrats actually had a reason to be upset. George Bush did not win the popular vote. The American people did not want him to be their president. Perfectly legal by all means, I mean it's happened before (that was stolen, but that's besides the point). Although legal, it was still a legitimate reason to be angry! The President of the United States was not fucking voted into office, confirming the fears of millions Americans that their votes really don't count. But for the love of god, no one was calling for a revolution. If these traitorous shitheads had the mental capacity to be convinced that liberals are patriotic, that fact alone would be able to convince them.
But oooooh nooooo, suddenly in 2008, when Republicans not only lost, but lost by a significant, undebatable margin? Even as Barack Obama's approval rating is still sky high? REVOLUTION TIME BITCHES, STOP TAKING AWAY MAH GOD, GET YOUR HANDS OFF MAH GUNS YOU COMMIE ATHEIST ISLAMO BASTARDS, YEEEEEHAAAAWWWW!!!!!
You ever see that movie Big? It's so simple, these guys are simply children trapped in adult bodies! When they don't get what they want, they just drag their feet and shout incomprehensible gibberish, it's so obvious!
The rock these people had been living under for the past eight years must have been HUGE. Were they unaware of how far the Bush Administration unlawfully extended executive authority? The last presidency looked at checks and balances, not as one of the most beautiful systems ever constructed by man, but as an obstacle to be overcome. And conservatives have the audacity to compare Barack Obama, of all people, to dictators like Hitler and Stalin? For the love of god and all that is holy, why? Because he's spending an ungodly amount of money to improve our own country, instead of spending an ungodly amount of money to improve Iraq? Christsake.
Look, George Bush was no fascist, but I mean like, he had fascist qualities, am I right? Tell me I'm wrong. Hitler took over Germany's government by dissolving its Congress and suppressing all political opposition. The Bush Administration worked to limit our Congress's authority, and accused its political opposition of being somehow unpatriotic, untrustworthy, or immoral. We have every right to be concerned when one branch of our government passes laws without consulting the other two branches at all. That's exactly the kind of thing the founders would rebel over. Christ, Jefferson drew up plans for a second revolution over John Adams' Alien and fucking Seditions Act! It makes my head hurt to think of what his feelings would be towards George Bush!
A last word from Chuck Norris: For those losing hope, and others wanting to rekindle the patriotic fires of early America, I encourage you to join Fox News' Glenn Beck, me and millions of people across the country in the live telecast, "We Surround Them," on Friday afternoon (March 13 at 5 p.m. ET, 4 p.m. CT and 2 p.m. PST). Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation . . . Again, Sam Houston put it well when he gave the marching orders, "We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish. It is vain to look for present aid: None is at hand. We must now act or abandon all hope! Rally to the standard, and be no longer the scoff of mercenary tongues! Be men, be free men, that your children may bless their father's name."
“We Surround Them?” Really? You're threatening physical violence even in the very title of your show? I'm so grateful these morons are too fucking retarded to organize a rebellion. They're just pounding their chests.
LOUD NOISES. THREATS. EEK EEK I'M A MONKEY I EAT MY POOP.
