(Partial) Game Review - Final Fantasy XIII

I've never been into Final Fantasy. I haven't been following this game in any way, because Square just makes the exact same game over and over and over again.

Call me a faggot, but I'm starting getting into Final Fantasy. If anyone's unfamiliar with the way this series works, every game is completely stand-alone, the characters and plots and settings have absolutely nothing to do with each other. I first started with Final Fantasy 7 back on the original Playstation many, many years ago. Almost every fan will agree that 7 was the best one ever made, which is unfortunate, since the fanfiction.net / deviantart fanbase has completely ruined it forever.



Good thing she watermarked that, wouldn't want anyone stealing this masterpiece.

Back then, I didn't 'get' how real RPGs worked. My only experience was with pokemon. I would just attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, attack, completely ignoring buffs, mages, etc. Unsurprisingly, I sucked.

Well, I was bored recently, so I decided to break out 10 again. I figured I have more experience with real games now, so it should be easier. I was right. It was really god damn easy. Maybe one or two bosses gave me trouble (fucking Yunalesca) but nothing I couldn't handle after a couple tries. The story was pretty good, but it could've been so much better if they had only tried a little harder. They had to go and Japanize it. Every character is downright awesome, EXCEPT for the protagonist and his love interest, who are both insecure pussies. In addition to the terrible voice acting, there were a few scenes that might've been meant to be funny or cute, but just didn't really translate well across cultures. This will make your balls retract.



Final Fantasy 11 doesn't count because that was an online game and nobody gives a shit. 12 was okay, but it never really kept my attention because its style seemed so bland to me. I'll probably give it another try pretty soon. But 13 just came out, and this is the point of this post. It is really, really good.



There's a rift in the gaming community about it. Just like with every single great game released on the current generation, half of the gaming community outright hates it just so they can be cool. All of this nerd rage is embodied in this here Destructoid review, brought to you by some fat fuck. It's like he's never played a Final Fantasy game before.

"OHMAHGOD, I can't believe the characters and story elements are the exact same as every other Final Fantasy game, THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS I WAS EXPECTING SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT. Oh I'm sure the fans will be all over me for this one, GOD DAMN I'M SO FUCKING EDGY HHUUUUUGGGGHHH"

And I've heard other complaints too. It's too linear, or it's just a dungeon crawler. Have these idiots ever played a fucking JRPG before? That's like complaining that you just run around shooting people in first person shooters. FF13 simply took out all the boring minigames and city roaming that only served to slow the games down, because Square has never been able to do them right. It's all fighting and story. It's a lot better this way, and these stupid fucks don't even realize it. "Waaaaahhhh gimmee back my Chocobo breeding/racing/whatever, waaaahhh I wanna go into the amusement park with Tifa, waaaaaaahhh." Dumbshits.

The guy on Destructoid said that story "is crucial to any RPG, and let me tell you right off the bat that Final Fantasy XIII has perhaps the worst story of any main Final Fantasy game to date . . . Even by Final Fantasy standards, the story is absolutely absurd. Let that sink in for a moment. The game is absurd by Final Fantasy standards!"

It's not that bad. Really. This confirms it. This man has never played a Final Fantasy game before. I'm going to be completely honest, I'm only a few hours into this (which is why I put 'Partial' in the title). I don't know what's going to happen plotwise, so I can't really say anything about it. But from what I've been introduced to, the story seems like it could be something really freakin' good. Yes, that's by Final Fantasy standards. So that still isn't saying much, but it's a JRPG, so you have to learn how to lower your expectations a little. Japanese gaming companies make these games based on their standards, not on ours. I'll give the guy points on his comments about the characters though. They seem pretty two-dimensional at my point in the game. But it seems like they're building it up so that they can develop, so I'm holding out. Again, it's Japan, so just like in anime, boring and predictable archetypes are a requirement.

The art style really impressed me. The last few games have been huge letdowns in this department, but FF13 is absolutely gorgeous, probably the best I've seen since 7. It's somewhat simple in some areas, but at the same time it puts artistic emphasis on the elements that are meant to be particularly eye-catching. So it's basically, "Yeah I know I'm awesome but I try not to brag about it," which is the perfect balance that every artistic style should strive to achieve.

The combat is different. It's not worse, it's not better. It's different. I'm still a little uncertain about it. It seems like it could be really fun once I level up my team and unlock more shit, so I'm reserving judgment. It's much more streamlined and fast-paced. It's somewhat complicated, so instead of trying to explain it, this video sums it up really well. The combat itself starts at about 7:00 in.



Verdict: 8 / 10

NOTE: I try to use the entire scale instead of the standard 7-10, so this is meant to be really good.

Wait, Barack Obama isn't a phantasmal boogeyman, but an actual human being?

Republican Senator Lindsey Graham: "When you use the N word and when you question somebody’s patriotism, you’re off base. President Obama is a fine man. He’s a good father. He’s a good role model."

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Sunday Youtube Post

I heard Alan Grayson say that he went out and talked to some activists Sunday night during the health care vote, but I didn't think we'd be getting actual footage of it. The woman sounds like a dumbass Ron Paul supporter, but It's still a civil, informed discussion. It's amazing how much the rhetoric and hate gets toned down when people actually talk to each other face to face without an audience watching.



"I need to pay more because I'm a woman" - lol wtf

Once again, a politician's office was attacked. But here's the kicker - he's a Republican?

Virginia Rep. Eric Cantor said Thursday that his Richmond campaign office has been shot at and that he's received "threatening e-mails" -- but at the same time the House minority whip accused top Democrats of trying to exploit the threats they've been receiving for "political gain."

[...]

In brief and pointed remarks, Cantor said he would not be releasing any information about the other threats he's received, as some lawmakers have done, out of concern that it would "encourage more to be sent."

And he admonished his colleagues -- specifically Rep. Chris Van Hollen, D-Md., and Democratic National Committee Chairman Tim Kaine -- for "dangerously fanning the flames by suggesting these incidents be used as a political weapon."

[...]

Cantor, as minority whip, is the highest elected Jewish politician in the country, and he said some of the threats he's gotten in the past have been because of his religion. But all the recent threats against lawmakers appear to be connected to the health care debate.

I'm sure I'm not the only person who smelled bullshit. I did a little more digging, and found that the blogosphere beat me to it.

From TPM:

A preliminary investigation [by the Richmond police department] shows that a bullet was fired into the air and struck the window in a downward direction, landing on the floor about a foot from the window. The round struck with enough force to break the windowpane but did not penetrate the window blinds. There was no other damage to the room, which is used occasionally for meetings by the congressman.

So we know it wasn't a deliberate attack. Someone fired a gun off into the air at random from a long distance away, and Cantor's office was where the bullet landed. He's not going to release any of the threats, so I'm going to guess the ones about health care are made up. But there are aryans in America, so there's no doubt that he's put up with shit about being Jewish. The difference is that the lies about abortion and death panels that Republicans have been spreading are directly responsible for the threats Dems have been receiving.The current debate has absolutely nothing to do with this incident, and Cantor is going about doing the exact same thing he's accusing Democrats of. Meanwhile, Democrat Anthony Weiner was mailed some white powder. Fucking despicable.

You can bet your buttons Fox'll be beating the hell out of this tonight.

It Continues

So are we going to have to always live with right wing terrorist attacks every time a democratic president is elected? Is that the way America does things now? I just switched back and forth between Hannity and Maddow. Sean Hannity is talking about how the libruls are 'smearing' the tea partiers, and Rachel Maddow is talking about this shit.

• Terrorists attempt to kill Congressman's family

Days after his address was posted online by a Virginia Tea Party activist, the FBI and local law enforcement officials are investigating a "suspicious incident" at the home of Rep. Tom Perriello's brother.

A line to the propane tank on his brother's gas grill had been "severed," an aide to the Democratic congressman told CNN.

[...]

Politico reported Monday that a Tea Party activist in Lynchburg, angry over Perriello's vote in favor of health care reform legislation, had posted the address of Perriello's brother online and encouraged other activists to "stop by" and weigh in on the bill. The activist had apparently meant to post the congressman's home address but mistakenly published his brother's.

Perriello, who represents Virginia's conservative-leaning 5th congressional district, encompassing central and southern parts of the state. He was narrowly elected to his first term in 2008 and is considered one of the most vulnerable House Democrats in 2010.

On Wednesday, Perriello's office issued the following statement:

“My number one priority right now is ensuring the safety of my brother’s family, and I am grateful to law enforcement for their excellent work. While it is too early to say anything definitive regarding political motivations behind this act, it’s never too early for political leaders to condemn threats of violence, particularly as threats to other Members of Congress and their children escalate. And so I ask every member of House and Senate leadership to state unequivocally tonight that it is never OK to harm or threaten elected officials and their families with anything more than political retribution. Here in America, we settle our political differences at the ballot box.”

Yeah, good luck getting a Republican to acknowledge this ever happened. Also, this article got it wrong. These are not "activists," these are terrorists.

• Democratic offices are being vandalized all across the country

Mike Vanderboegh of Pinson, Ala., former leader of the Alabama Constitutional Militia, put out a call on Friday for modern “Sons of Liberty” to break the windows of Democratic Party offices nationwide in opposition to health care reform. Since then, vandals have struck several offices, including the Sedgwick County Democratic Party headquarters in Wichita.

“There’s glass everywhere,” said Lyndsay Stauble, executive director of the Sedgwick County Democratic Party. “A brick took out the whole floor-to-ceiling window and put a gouge in my desk.”

[...]

Vanderboegh posted the call for action Friday on his blog, “Sipsey Street Irregulars.” Referring to the health care reform bill as “Nancy Pelosi’s Intolerable Act,” he told followers to send a message to Democrats.

“We can break their windows,” he said. “Break them NOW. And if we do a proper job, if we break the windows of hundreds, thousands, of Democrat party headquarters across this country, we might just wake up enough of them to make defending ourselves at the muzzle of a rifle unnecessary.”

Vanderboegh told The Kansas City Star that the action was meant to “get everyone’s attention.”

“What I was trying to get across was that people do not understand how on the edge of civil conflict this country is,” he said.

Vanderboegh has yet to be arrested.

• Republicans are preventing the government from functioning

From ThinkProgress:

There is a little-known rule in the Senate stating that hearings can’t happen after 2:00 p.m. each day without unanimous consent. However, every day, at the start of business, the Senate generally agrees, by unanimous consent, to waive this rule and continue with the necessary business of holding hearings.... Republicans, however, are now refusing to give unanimous consent and are blocking the hearings.

Henry Reid: "Ironically, as they make false claims about transparency regarding health reform, they're shutting down a committee hearing today on transparency in government."

• Former Bush speechwriter David Frum: "Republicans originally thought that Fox worked for us, and now we are discovering we work for Fox."

• Republican Chuck Grassley, promoter of the death panel lie, takes credit for the health care bill

At the start of the process, Grassley was expected to be among those Senators working to craft a bipartisan bill. But it wasn't long before he abandoned that effort, and helped to start the "death panel" meme heard at town halls across the country throughout last summer.

Later on, Grassley joined with the Republicans in condemning the bill's medicare provisions. He jumped through several rhetorical hoops when he tried to explain his position in support Medicare while also attacking the idea of a public option last September.

[...]

In the memo send out to reporters by his staff on on the Senate Finance Commitee, Grassley claims that the bill will ensure that "Congress, the IRS, and the public will now have additional tools and information to ensure that charitable hospitals act charitably."

There's a reason the bill is so good when it comes to hospitals, Grassley's staff writes -- bipartisanship.

"The health care legislation signed into law yesterday includes provisions Grassley co-authored to impose standards for the tax exemption of charitable hospitals for the first time," his Finance Committee press staff writes.

I won't end this on a bad note though. The tea partier who mocked the man with Parkinson's has apologized.

"I snapped. I absolutely snapped and I can't explain it any other way... He's got every right to do what he did and some may say I did too (you're a piece of shit), but what I did was shameful. I haven't slept since that day... I made a donation (to a local Parkinson's disease group) and that starts the healing process... I wanted this to go away, but it won't and I'm paying the consequences... I've been looking at the web sites. People are hunting for me... That was my first time at any political rally and I'm never going to another one. I will never ever, ever go to another one." (lol).

This sounds like a King of the Hill episode.

If what he says is sincere and not just an excuse to get out of negative backlash, then it's a perfect example of how dangerous mob mentality can be. Propaganda's a hell of a drug.

By the way, the guy's name is Bob. He's got two masters' and a PhD. He was a nuclear engineer.

lol

oh no the bad guys won

i did everything i was told

why is this happening



I tried to tell you schmucks but NONE OF YOU LISTENED TO ME! The progressives have outed themselves as supporters of health care! The cloak has been unveiled.

Did he really just make an analogy about Fox News acting as the "father" of its viewers? That cult-like groupthink basically confirms George Lakoff's theory that conservatives are obsessed with father figures telling them what to do. RONALD REAGAN HELP US.