Camp Emo Post

My week off from camp started today. We'll go back next Sunday, and then we'll have another batch of scouts for one more week before it's over for good. Usually we do about five or six weeks every summer, but scouting doesn't have money anymore and the whole program is basically imploding, so we can only afford to do it four weeks this summer. It's very unfulfilling, and it doesn't feel like a complete year at all. Most of the veteran staff won't be coming back next year, including myself (school). Program Director Skippy has been entertaining kids at Camp Bunn since I was eleven years old. He's now my boss. He is one of the most hilarious and heartwarming people you could ever meet. He's been a huge influence on my life, and he's one of the main reasons why I decided to go work there in the first place. This is Skippy's last year too.

This year's been a huge letdown, honestly. The staff has gotten unbelievably lazy, both in work and in being social at night, and it's really just not as fun as the previous years at all. Me and a few others have been trying pick up some slack and encourage things, but it doesn't do much when no one is really inspired. I've known Camp Bunn for half the time I've been alive, and the best memories of my life are all there. It is very depressing that it all has to end with such a whimper.

Last night at firebowl, Amanda got up there and told all the visiting parents a little story from earlier that day. She explained that her day had been absolutely terrible, and she was just in a horrible mood. Then a little scout walked up to her, and gave her a poorly made bracelet, which he gives to his favorite staff member every year. Amanda was in front of this crowd looking like she was on the brink of tears, explaining that all she needed was a quick kick in the butt to remind her of why she was working there. I know it sounds cheesy as hell, but that right there is probably the best memory I'm going to take away from this year. I can complain all I want about how much the staff sucks, or how little I get paid, or how it seems like half the girls working there have annoying little crushes on me; but when it all boils down to it, I am having a fucking blast shooting guns with those kids. I was down on the shooting ranges for almost nine hours straight yesterday shooting off guns and making sure kids didn't kill themselves, and it was probably the most stressful and exhausting day I've ever had at camp. But even then, I still can't say it was all that bad. I don't have any right to complain, because I just have so much fun doing it. The look on a scout's face after pulling the trigger of a shotgun for the first time is one of the most hilarious and beautiful things you will ever see in your life.

I was fucking swamped yesterday at the rifle range. All day. They just. Kept. Coming. I'm the only staff member who is ever down there, so as you can imagine, it started getting pretty hectic. A scoutmaster popped up out of nowhere and just started helping me. He stuck around for hours, and I really don't know what I would've done without him. At one point I pulled him aside and said "Thanks a lot, I really appreciate you're doing." He looks at me and says, "No, I appreciate what you're doing. You're doing a lot for these kids, thank you." I'm going to take a lot away from Amanda's story for the simple fact that I could relate it to a similar experience on the exact same day. Leaving is really going to hurt.