SHAMWOW

Back from Camp Bunn until next summer. Fucking hell, I missed it.

This was Sam's last year. Sam's been working the climbing tower since I was twelve. He's getting a bit older and is having some trouble with his knees (I think) and I guess his wife would like him home. Sam is without a doubt one of coolest people I have ever met, and I wish I had the chance to get to know him a bit better. I didn't find out until near the end of the summer that he's a political science professor, so I brought that up at one point and we had some pretty cool discussions during the last week.

And the chickens. Oh god, the chickens. Sam has two rubber chickens named Friar Cluck and Cluck Norris. To entertain the scouts, the staff "kidnaps" these chickens, and then write ransom notes during the week. Sam reads these ransom notes to the camp during meals. Various demands this year included Jeffy having to paint his truck bright pink, Sam shaving his beard off, and me and Tyler getting up to sing the power rangers song to everyone. We don't negotiate with terrorists though. Pictures are also included with these ransom notes to show Sam that the chicken-nappers mean business.

Sam neglected to show that last picture to the scouts like he did with the other ones. Can't imagine why.

People who manage to climb all four walls of the climbing tower get the Spiderman Award. I've never even attempted it before, but this was Sam's last year, and I wanted him to be the person to give it to me. The first three sides were no big deal, but fuck, that expert wall was a bitch. The tower's only open Monday through Wednesday, and only one difficult wall is open on each day (the beginner's wall is always open). I tried the expert wall on Wednesday. The halfway point is the hardest part of this wall. The grips are very small, very awkward, and very spread apart. I got about halfway up, and I needed down for a water break because my throat was getting really parched and distracting me. Tried again, got halfway up, needed a break. Tried one more time, I got past the halfway point, but by then I was too exhausted and couldn't pull myself up anymore. My arms were fucking destroyed. Then I came back after dinner to try one more time. This was the last week, and I was the very last climber. If I didn't get it then, I'd have to wait a whole year. My arms were still sore as hell, but I made sure to drink lots of water during dinner so they could have a bit more fuel. I got up past the midway point without too much difficulty, but near the top my arms were giving me a bitch fit. But I finally pulled myself over, and I got that motherfucking god damn Spiderman Award. And then Sam wasn't even the person to award me at the firebowl. It was Pete. FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Chris is another person I would have liked to know better. This was also Chris' last year (school). In the whole two years I've known him, we've had about two or three rational conversations. And it was almost always about music. He's one of the only people I've met outside of internet forums who's heard of Murder By Death, Godspeed, and the Black Keys. He can be an extremely intelligent person when he wants to be, but he spends most of his time just fucking with people because he finds it hilarious. Most of the discussions he's involved with has consisted of him dryhumping someone, licking someone, tickling someone, rubbing someone's nipples, eating someone's hair or grabbing someone's ass. And it really is pretty fucking hilarious.

Every friday night is Uncle Christopher's Storytime. After the firebowl, after the families leave (friday's family night), and after everyone gets done with paperwork, we all sit in a circle behind our tents. Chris calls upon a buckaroo to sit on his lap to hold the flashlight, while he then reads from his previously chosen material. His "Uncle Christopher" character is one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen. Some pretty perverted shit.

The last friday was really fucking depressing for everyone. It was the last night Chris will ever be there as staff, and it was the very last storytime. For the first time ever, Chris took it on a serious note. He built a fire, he had no buckaroo, and he read from a fantastic book. Half the staff didn't seem to be listening, and some fell asleep, but it was some of most incisive stuff I've heard in quite a while. And with the fire right there, it only made the mood more sad and reflective for everyone. Nobody said a thing once he finished.Chris closed the book, and for the longest time, everyone just kind of sat there and stared into the fire.

I'm pretty sure it was Jeffy who broke the silence, "Am I the only one who's tearing up right now?" That sort of piped us up a little. People started leaving for the tents shortly afterwards in complete silence, one by one. I was walking by a little bit later, to see that Chris was the only person still by the fire. It was really one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever seen. Chris has worked at Camp Bunn for a long ass time, I want to say maybe five or six years. I talked to him a bit later about it. He said to me, "That place has been the only constant in my tumultuous life. I feel extremely comfortable there."

It's the ultimate form of peace when you're able to find a place that can temporarily shelter you from the outside world. I don't know Chris very well. My first year, he told me he lived in his van for a time, and that he really fucking hates his dad. It's safe to assume that he's had a harder life than I have. I can't even fathom the pain someone would be forced to go through as he said goodbye to the safe place of his adolescence, especially if it brought him as much comfort as Camp Bunn apparently brought to Chris. I'd never be able to understand. I've never had to go through something like that.