Emily Browning is hot as fuck, and I feel like a fucking scumbag for thinking that because she still looks the exact same as she did in Lemony Snicket. I'm pretty sure she was 15 or 16 or something back when that was filmed. Shit what do I do.
Same with Jewel Staite. I had the biggest fucking crush on her in Firefly. I saw an X-Files episode recently where she was the guest. She was 13, and looked the exact same as she did in Firefly. What the fuck dude.
I just got back from Star Trek. Don't worry, no spoilers.
This movie is flawless. Newcomers to the universe will finally realize what the rest of us have been spazzing over for the past forty years, and die hard fans will look at it as a pinnacle tribute to one of the greatest epics of modern storytelling. I've browsed the Something Awful thread on the movie, and the typical nerd ragers are still around like they always are, but none of them seem to be disappointed with what the movie actually was, in itself; they're just angry that someone could have the sheer audacity to taint the past of their precious Star Trek universe. They're quite sad, really.
The cast was near perfection, but John Cho was an awful choice for Sulu because he acted absolutely nothing like Sulu. He's not a terrible actor, so at least he's tolerable, but I'm sure there were much better choices they could have gone with. The IMBD forums are hilarious as always:
Isn't it a little clueless to cast a Korean-American actor (who bears no resemblence to George Takei, BTW) as a Japanese-American? Isn't that sort of like casting, er, Brad Pitt as a Corleone? Or Ben Stiller as a Swede?
Also, at 36, Cho is way to old to play Sulu in an "origins" movie. Of all the characters in the reboot, his casting seems most forced.
I'd like to know how our Asian Trek brethren feel about this.
It's an abomination, if you ask me.
Aside from the Harold and Kumar crossover, every other actor was dead-on. Karl Urban fucking nailed Doctor McCoy. His interaction with Kirk was damn glorious to watch. One hilarious scene in particular was practically slapstick. That was another amazing aspect of this movie--it had butt loads of great comedy throughout, but not so much as to distract anyone from the central plot, or take away from its seriousness. It was just right.
It occasionally even throws in some of the catchphrases we know and love ("Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a [xx]"), but it also takes care not to overdo it to the point of eyerolling.
And if you pay close enough attention, you could pick up on small hints implying the Kirk-Spock-McCoy triumvirate was taking its roots. It was awesome seeing Doctor McCoy occasionally chime in his almost pessimistic realism between Spock's cold logic, and Kirk's unhinged emotion.
The only complaint I have is that the cameraman always had uncontrollable seizures whenever there was a fight or battle scene. But I can be forgiving, because that's suddenly cool now and every movie does it. The battle scenes were all amazing, by the way.
The central story is outstanding, and even somewhat believable if you have a basic idea of quantum physics (Best line: "Damn it, I'm a doctor, not a physicist!"). Not only this, but it actually manages to end up being both a prequel and a sequel at the same time. You'll understand this genius move once you see it.
In my eyes, this is the greatest Star Trek film of all time. Yes. Better than The Wrath of Khan. It hasn't even been an hour since I've watched it , and I already want to go back and watch it again. It modernizes the series to its rightful place in non-hokey cinema. And the most important thing you're left with at the end is the feeling that even despite how incredibly awesome it was, it still only felt like an introduction movie. It leaves you wanting more. You want to see more adventures with this cast.
To make extra sure this isn't just the euphoria talking and I'm not jumping the gun, I'm about to watch The Wrath of Khan again, because I haven't seen it in years.
I watched The Patriot for the first time last night.
Holy fuck. The Patriot is a gigantic pile of shit. I mean, it's still pretty good if you look at it in comparison to most of the other shit Hollywood vomits up, but it's pretty much exactly what you'd expect from any film of its kind that chooses to completely ignore all aspects history, and instead play itself off as a heroic American epic. It's got the formula:
1) Pushing patriotism and inaccurate history to the point of propaganda, and 2) A total lack of depth in any of its pathetic excuses for characters. They rely entirely on the same one-dimensional, predictable retards we've seen in every other film ever.
The battle scenes were really fucking sweet though, I'll give it that much.
Meet our hero: Benjamin Martin. Patriot.
Benjamin Martin is a patriotic patriot. He's just a simple farmer, but with a dark inescapable past, and a passionate love for his family! His modest farm is too small for Gabriel--his rebellious, adventurous son. Gabriel seeks rebellion and adventure, and he cannot be tamed! When he finds his adventurous rebelliousness embodied in the adventurous American rebellion, Benjamin forbids him to go! You see, Benjamin experienced some dark atrocities during the French and Indian war, and he doesn't want his son going through the same things! Gabriel defies him, because his rebellious American spirit of adventureand freedom will be tamed by no man, especially not by one who isn't as rebelliously adventurous as he! But when an English Colonel thought it would be funny to shoot Benjamin's younger son in the back for no god damn reason, Benjamin took up arms once again to join Gabriel in his rebellious cause for adventure, liberty, freedom, justice, patriotism and slavery!
Meet the man who killed his other son: Colonel Tavington
Oooooh, that Colonel Tavington! Colonel Tavington spends his free time shooting innocent civilians in the fucking face with his flintlock pistol from 500 yards away on horseback, and also locking townspeople inside churches to burn them alive. He's so god damn evil, he shits Hitler mustaches instead of poo poo. The writers didn't even bother thinking up any motives for him. He doesn't need them. Colonel Tavington kills people so they will die. End of discussion. You question it? I hope you like dying. And so does Colonel Tavington.
He has no motives or direction for his destruction. He has to be the Joker or something. The Time-Traveling Joker. It's the only explanation.
"Hurfty durfty durf, I'm Colonel Tavington!"
Meet Benjamin Martin's rebellious and adventerous son: Gabriel Martin. What a dreamboat, am I right ladies!?
Gabriel Martin seeks adventure. And rebellion. His youthful passion for the American spirit cannot be tamed. It's just too rebellious. And fiery. And adventerous. He has too much of his father in him HAR HAR HAR. The only way they could have made him any more like Luke Skywalker is if they had him staring out into America's twin suns setting over the horizon. One sun is called liberty. The other one? Freedom.
The most hilarious aspect of this trainwreck was easily its depiction of race. Hey Hollywood, guess what? Whites in 1780 actually didn't look at blacks in the same way they do in the 21st century. Spike Lee is usually a raving lunatic, but he really did manage to hit the nail on the head with this: "For three hours The Patriot dodged around, skirted about or completely ignored slavery."
And it's true. Despite the dozens of black actors who appeared on screen during this film, slavery was hardly ever mentioned, and not once depicted. The only time it was ever brought up was when Colonel Tavington told a group of blacks that if slaves joined the British army, they would be treated extremely well and eventually freed. These black patriots weren't going to take that shit, you know why? None of them were slaves at all, they were all free men, SUCK IT TAVINGTON, THAT THROBBING PAIN INSIDE YOUR ASSHOLE IS AMERICA.
In fact, in the entire 3 hour span of the movie, we only see one slave, and he was freed at the end because he fought against the British. So I guess if you're going by The Patriot, the slaves were all freed after the Revolutionary War.
And just like in every historical movie ever, everybody pretends racism doesn't exist. It can be safely said that every fucking white person on earth was a racist up until the mid-19th century or so. The movie had one racist. This is how Hollywood thinks racial issues are resolved. They throw out mister "white racist who will end up learning a life lesson" and try to see how he'll interact with mister "one-dimensional wise black man." I bet you can't guess what ends up happening by the end of the movie!
First encounter:
"I am racist. Despite my blatant racism, I know of no racial slurs, you gat-flab African American!"
End of movie: "Gosh golly, I didn't know the blacks fought for freedom too! Not only am I no longer a racist, but America will never experience any sort of racism ever again! Racism: SOLVED."
I'd like to see this technique implemented into Schindler's List 2, where the Jews convince the Nazis to be more tolerant, and are subsequently taken out for ice cream as an apology.
Nazi: "I'm so sorry Jewy McJewstein, the holocaust was wrong! Can you ever forgive me?" Jew: "As long as you remain tolerant and respectful of other cultures! Now come on you scoundrel, let's go get that ice cream!" Nazi: "Hold on a sec, I think I left the oven on!" Both: "Hahahahaha!"
I just noticed that both actors are making the exact same faces in both of those screenshots - wise black man holding his head up high in reflective wisdom, and white racist squinting as hard as he can trying to understand cultural differences. Hollywood's got this shit down.
I only discovered Nick Cave recently, and I hate myself for not find out about him earlier. He's a lot like my second favorite band Murder By Death, but without the folksy Johnny Cash element.
His CD Murder Ballads is a god damn horrifying concept album about murder. It has such uplifting classics like "O'Malley's Bar," which is about a man who goes on a killing spree while struggling on the question of whether he has free will, and then "Stagger Lee," about a man named Stagger Lee who walks into a bar, shoots the bartender in the head four times, and then forces a pimp to suck his dick before shooting him. Good stuff.
"Where the Wild Roses Grow" keeps it simple. It's about a man who courts a girl before cracking her skull open with a rock.
He has 14 albums. I only have two so far, the other one being Let Love In. While still covering some sad topics, it's thankfully not nearly as dark as Murder Ballads. I need to get a hold of his other CDs, he writes some amazing lyrics.
Just thought I'd mention this while it's still fresh on my mind. Last week, Vice President Joe Biden went on some news show and said that he's telling his family to avoid airplanes, subways, and confined public places if they can, so they won't get swine flu. It was nothing the media hasn't been beating into our heads endlessly over the last couple weeks, and everyone should being doing it if they don't want to get sick because it's common sense.
Fox News is really fucking hilarious. A couple days ago, these hosts on Fox and Friends played the clip of Biden saying these things, and sat around making fun of him. They said he was trying to scare the public. He was overhyping the swine flu. Yeah, really. Fox News seriously said this. And remember, this wasn't even an opinion show like Hannity or O'Reilly, this was on Fox and Friends. Fox and Friends is their morning news show, it's supposed to be happy and giddy and help you start the day off fresh. They neglected to mention how their own network literally called swine flu the "next black death."
The current swine flu outbreak is suspected to have killed 150 people worldwide, at the very most. More realistic estimates put it at 100. Only 11 of those cases have been confirmed. In the United States alone, normal flu hospitalizes 100,000 people every single year. 36,000 die.
This is nothing but a false alarm just like SARS and avian flu, and the media is just scaring everyone shitless for ratings. It's what they do. They're unethical, heartless bastards who never bother to do any god damn reporting. If they keep crying wolf like this, nobody is going to take them seriously if an actual threat ever does break out, such as the coming zombie apocalypse for example.
Shortly after this trainwreck, the hosts asked Mike Huckabee to talk about Miss California's thoughts on gay marriage. Pretty much everybody's seen this by now, but
Miss California got 2nd place, and Mike Huckabee accused the judges of not letting her win because of her answer to this question. He said, in these exact words, "So much for tolerance," almost as if faggot-bashing bigots are the ones who are being tolerant.
Miss California thinks it's great how our country allows us to choose between gay marriage and "opposite marriage." Then she says we shouldn't let gays marry. I would like her to describe her definition of "choose." And opposite marriage. This woman is a complete dumbfuck, and I'm guessing she's used to free passes in life because of how hot she is. Her sorry excuse for a mind contributes absolutely nothing to the human race. She is a worthless sack of human shit just like most of Miss America's participants and judges, since they don't look the quality of women based on things that matter, but rather on how pretty they are.
This is the first time I've ever heard of Perez Hilton, so I don't know if he typically does things like this. But if he really did vote against Miss California because of her answer, like Huckabee is accusing him of doing, then Perez Hilton is a hero. This woman's shameful opinion is worthless and disgusting. It only showed America that she doesn't want others experiencing the same happiness she's able to. It proved just how cold and empty her heart really is. If this competition was actually based on morality, intellect, and things that actually matter, then her losing it was pure justice.
You should respect someone who disagrees with you if they're able to back up their claims with arguments that are rational and make sense. Opponents of gay marriage are the only widely accepted group of people in the country whose opinions do not deserve respect in any form. You don't respect racists. You don't respect sexists. Just like with racism and sexism, their worldview is not based on any sort of rational argument, but rather on blind fear. They say the bible opposes gay marriage, while refusing to acknowledge the fact that our government cannot endorse Christianity as law. They say it's not natural, when there are literally thousands of documented accounts of animals in same-sex relationships, sometimes adopting and successfully raising orphans that would have otherwise perished. They say it's not "traditional," when the word is absolutely meaningless and contributes nothing to the debate. They say it will lead to polygamy, incest, and bestiality, when gays aren't asking for any of these things, and they're avoiding the discussion entirely.
Gays getting married will never, ever effect them. And yet they still feel the need to suppress the rights of others so they can pat themselves on the back and be smothered with their sick delusion that they are somehow doing the right thing. I seriously think that most of these idiots think you have to be gay to support gay rights. Either that, or they harbor homosexual urges themselves and can't deal with it, so they lash out at the faggotry outside their heads as a defense mechanism. I'm really trying to figure out why these people think like this. They cannot be reasoned with. It's beyond their capacity to question established thinking, because the mere thought altering their safe little box just downright petrifies them. Human beings are separated from the animals by our reasoning powers, so I guess that means they're less human than the rest of us.
Zooey Deschanel
Zooey Deschanel
