This post will be dedicated to all the favorite moments in gaming of my entire life, in the hope that it will inspire me to play some fucking video games again.
Before there was NFL Blitz, before there was NBA Jam, there was Pigskin 621 A.D. It was amazing. I never even knew what I was doing, I just moved in the direction I was supposed to and pushed random buttons hoping that would score me some points.
Do you have any fucking idea how long it took me to find out what this game was called? I wasted an entire hour of my life rummaging through google trying to find the name of this again. You want to know how forgotten this masterpiece is? The only video on youtube is a shitty “Let's Play” where a guy plays it and gives commentary. It barely has over 200 views.
After Mario Kart 64, I'm pretty sure Road Rash 3 is my favorite racing game of all time. It shouldn't even be considered a racing game anymore. All you did was ride in a straight line at 200 mph and try to whack other riders off their bikes with your chains and clubs. You also had to outrun the cops, and you had to knock them off too. It was so fucking amazing, and just typing this is making me want to play it again.
I think this was the very first game I played where you were able to buy upgraded equipment (i.e., new motorcycles). I'm pretty sure Road Rash wasn't the first game that did this. I know Mega Man did it, and I think maybe Metroid and maybe one of the Zeldas, but I never played any of those when I was younger. This was the very first time I was exposed to it, and it turned me into a fucking zombie.
The very first shooter I ever played. It was pretty much the first shooter anyone played, unless you had Wolfenstein, which I didn't. I bought this on Xbox Live a long time ago, and I still play it occasionally. It was the very first game that genuinely scared me shitless. Those god damn piggies. Charging you and shit. Fuck. I would never get on it without the codes. They're still engraved into my head to this very day. IDKFA is weapons and ammo. IDDQD if god mode. I didn't even look those up.
And to think that parents are getting angry over Grand Theft Auto. I played Doom when I was fucking ten. It's good for you. And the nightmares weren't even all that bad.
Just thinking about the number of hours Chris and I put into this game gives me the chills. There is absolutely nothing more magnificent than dodging charging dinosaurs while beating the shit out of foot soldiers. Nothing. We'd always put in the Game Genie and use the infinite lives code. But one time, we didn't have the Game Genie with us, and we managed to beat it without using it. It was one of the greatest moments of my life.
MY TOES MY TOES PIZZA TIME
Mass Effect to me is tied with Fallout 3 for the greatest RPG ever made. Based on the decisions you make and dialogues you choose, you are either a saint, or a fucking lunatic. There's no middle ground. And it is fun as hell being a fucking lunatic.
Skip to 2:25 for the goods.
Fallout 3 takes place in a post-apocalyptic universe. Nuclear war has destroyed all civilization, and what few survivors remain are forced to band together into little villages for protection against the dreaded wasteland and the dangers in it. If you have never played Fallout, and if you do not know what a Behemoth is, I won't spoil it for you. Watch, and weep.
Grand Theft Auto gets a bad wrap. It's the only game grandma has ever heard of because the news decides it's a good idea to report on things it doesn't understand. It's not just violence and sex. There is a story, and there is drama. At times, you're forced to make extremely tough, emotionally draining decisions. It's a Quentin Tarantino movie. It is the greatest game I have ever played. It's probably the closest to art video games can ever get. GTA4's bank robber mission was one of the most downright badass moments of my entire gaming career. Here it is, in full.
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