Dragon Age

I beat Dragon Age the other day. At first I felt Dragon Age topped Mass Effect, but that was really just the euphoria talking. I'm still in the Mass Effect camp really only because of the genre. Since sci-fi is simply fantasy for people who aren't faggots, the choice was pretty clear.

For some reason, I can't take screenshots in the game. It just won't let me. Nothing shows up in the folder they're supposed to go into. There were a lot of great moments I really wanted to capture, like the time that dragon was trying to shake me off of its head before I was able to drive my sword through its fucking skull, for example.

Luckily for me, the game takes screenshots automatically at notable parts throughout the game, usually during cutscenes. I would like to share my journey with you. Minor spoilers follow (nothing big) so if you're planning on playing this and you want to be completely surprised, just don't read the descriptions. As always, click on the images to view the bigger size. FANTASY. CAST MAGIC MISSILE.

You're able to choose whether you want to be a human, a dwarf, or an elf. I wanted the epic dwarven beard, but I didn't want to be a stupid midget dwarf.

First time meeting Morrigan, the "hot slut" romance option. You can bang her pretty quick.

Leliana, the "sweetheart" romance option. You meet her in the cliche bar fight. You have to work her for a pretty long time before she agrees to fuck you, and even then, there's a glitch that players have dubbed "friend zone" where it's possible to miss out on the opportunity altogether. You're able to sleep with both Morrigan and Leliana at the same time behind their backs, and it starts up all sorts of awesome drama. You can also bang a bisexual elf dude, but I slit his throat when I first met him because he tried to assassinate me.

Alistair, the comrade. He's a quirky badass with a heart of gold. He's the romance option for female characters. My friend Molly is swooning pretty hard over him.

My pet war dog's name is Poindexter.

I found this guy outside of a village in a cage. He was sentenced to remain there and be devoured by the Darkspawn. I could've tried to convince the Chantry to free him so he could join me, but he slaughtered an entire family, and I decided a slow and painful death would be better suited for him.

This boy was possessed by a demon. In his free time, he decided to send down hordes of zombies into his village every night.

The Urn of Sacred Ashes, containing the ashes of Andastre. Imagine if you came across the ashes of Jesus. And Jesus was the literal son of god (I know I know, just play along). That's how big of a deal this is.

Fighting on behalf of Lord Harrowmont in the Dwarven Proving.

The soul of a Dwarven hero, trapped in an iron golem for centuries. I could've had myself a golem army to fight the Darkspawn horde, but I was trying to be somewhat good, so I decided to let him have the death he wanted instead.

I'm not describing the context of this image because I think it's funnier without it.

I actually just started a new game. I'm the guy in the middle. I'm going to be the bloodiest blood mage ever. Blood magic is outlawed. I'm trying to be the most insane lunatic the game will allow me to be. For example, this is something similar to a conversation we had when we came across a dying soldier in need of medical care.

Me: We don't have time for this.

Alistair: "We don't have time? What, are you late for a meeting or something?

Me: "But he's dead already, look!" (I slit his throat)

Alistair: "Does the word 'insane' mean anything to you?"

Me: "Just shut up and follow my orders."

Alistair: "Remind me to never get injured around you."