Something extremely important happens. Fox News implodes because it didn't happen in America.

A few days ago, I turned on Fox News to see how they were treating Egypt. I shit you not, as they were playing footage of the protests, they discussed nothing except the effect the unrest would have on the price of oil. I was able to find a clip. Surprisingly enough, this is not what I watched. They talked about the oil angle on more than one occasion. I turned it on again today. Same deal, except replace "oil" with "Pizza Hut." Really. They were interviewing the CEO of Pizza Hut while playing footage of the protests. He let us know that 30 restaurants in Egypt have unfortunately been closed :(. Later on tonight, at the same moment Rachel Maddow was interviewing Brian Williams live from Egypt as demonstrators were occasionally being shot at right behind him, I flipped to Fox News. They were interviewing Karl Rove.

I could go on a huge rant with lots of funny bad words like I normally do, but I don't need to, because this Media Matters piece summed everything up beautifully.

Oh sure, staffers and hosts working for Rupert Murdoch are doing their best to convey a sense of grave importance when discussing the historic turmoil playing out in Cairo and throughout Egypt. But you only have to watch Fox News for five or ten minutes to see their hearts just aren’t in the story. The usual Fox News juice is completely missing. There’s no swagger on-screen these days.

Instead, it’s like watching students hand in homework, or little kids eating their vegetables.

It’s true. Egypt is killing Fox News’ mojo.

Why? The short answer is Fox isn’t actually a news-gathering organization in the traditional sense in that it reacts and responds to breaking news around the world. Nor is it one strives to inform its viewers. It’s just not. Instead, Fox News is a political organization. Under Obama, Fox News exists in order to attack Democrats and to try to destroy the Obama presidency, while at the same time boosting Republicans. Period.

Here's a collection of hilarious recent moments from the Fox News family concerning the events of Egypt. Please remember that this is where most Americans get news.

Megyn Kelly thinks Obama could "go down in history as the president who lost Egypt."

Because Egypt was "ours" to begin with? Because we don't want a nation to follow America's example by throwing off a brutal tyrant?

Dick Morris thinks Obama "broke Egypt, and he now owns it."

Once again, how is democracy bad? Is democracy a factor that breaks nations? If Obama is somehow responsible for what happening in Egypt right now, then why aren't you praising him?

Karl Rove thinks Egyptians are more "Western," "secular" and "Christian" because they are "descended from Ramses and Cleopatra"

If I was being asked about a country I didn't know anything about, I would namedrop irrelevant cultural references too. I'm surprise Karl didn't tell Hannity that he needs to walk like an Egyptian.

Glenn Beck thinks this revolution "is being orchestrated by the Marxist Communists."

Not to be confused with the Marxist Socialists.



This is not a news organization. The purpose of a news organization is to do research and report the news. Fox has done zero research. They are asking no experts. It took them a fucking week to get a single reporter to Egypt. They have no idea what's happening. They don't know what they're doing. And Fox is the highest rated news channel in the United States. America gets its news from a bunch of blundering, egotistical morons who weren't aware that anything outside of the United States existed prior to this revolution. When that fact is thrust into their laps, they don't even try to pull their shit together. They just wing it and hope no one notices. The reason why the world hates is because this is how we act.

But unlike Fox News, I'd rather not have this blog filled with nothing but hate-filled dick waving. So here's a quick update about what's actually been happening in Egypt (hint: it doesn't involve communists). I almost wanted to split this up into two entries, but what the fuck.

Today was filled with the most violence we've seen in so far. Anti-Mubarak and Pro-Mubarak demonstrators squared off in Tahir Square, and for fifteen hours straight, they battled each other on and off as the military stood by and watched. And they used more than just sticks and rocks. Hundreds, if not thousands, of molotov cocktails were tossed, and small arms fire could be heard all day, and well into the night. Five people are reported to have been killed, and at least 800 were injured. Every single time there was a clash, the pro-Mubarak demonstrators were the ones who instigated it. There are a lot of rumors flying around saying they're being paid off by the government to stir shit up. Many may be police. There have been reports coming in all day of Mubarak supporters beating the shit out of journalists and smashing their cameras. Anderson Cooper's crew was attacked.



But it's not all violence. Because human beings are inherently good, there are always feel-good stories in these situations when you look hard enough. Muslims have been showing up to Christian churches during prayer services to protect them from violence, and Christians have been returning the favor during salah. This is why I'm not afraid of Egypt turning into the brutal theocracy Fox warns you about.

"I know it might not be safe, yet it's either we live together, or we die together, we are all Egyptians."

Such are the words one expects of great leaders on the battlefield, of politicians preparing a nation for war, of civic leaders rallying people for an inspiring cause.

But these are the words of Cherine Mohamed, a 50-year-old Egyptian housewife.